


Begin at The Begining

by cuckoobirds



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Couch Sex, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multi, Other, half drag sex is always a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 23:14:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21044387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuckoobirds/pseuds/cuckoobirds
Summary: "Time heals everything is not true. At least not in such simple terms. Times heals without you being aware of it. One day the pain paralyses and breaks you into thousand pieces, and the other day the pieces crawl back together. The other day you’re whole again, all stitched and glued. Just like that. As if hell didn't break loose. As if you weren't torn apart seconds of years ago."





	Begin at The Begining

A\N: It’s a sorta halloween treat! 🎃 Based on the prompts:

_ “Look, I dressed up as you.” _

_“I’m the tall dark stranger your parents warned you about.”_

This fic had many inspirations, but mostly [Acid’s bunny look ](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.instagram.com%2Fp%2FBa9gJwCnERu%2F%3Ftaken-by%3Dacidbetty&t=MDhjOGM2ZmE0OTE2Yjg5Y2ZkNDg5YzI3ZmFjNTc0YzI4ZGEwYzNkYixXY1JNNFBISg%3D%3D&b=t%3Av3LhZRbWmoT9W49tMg51qg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fmulder-isms.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F167060001535%2Fbegin-at-the-beginning-thorcid-fanfic-an&m=1)and [Thorgy with the most wanted t-shirt ever. ](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.instagram.com%2Fp%2FBa7gzWRjXAe%2F%3Fhl%3Dpt-br%26tagged%3Dthorgythor&t=ODc3MjNhZmFhMDYzOWNmNjIwOTQ0ZjEzZDk3NTYzMGVlZTg0ZTI4YixXY1JNNFBISg%3D%3D&b=t%3Av3LhZRbWmoT9W49tMg51qg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fmulder-isms.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F167060001535%2Fbegin-at-the-beginning-thorcid-fanfic-an&m=1)

*****

**“Begin at the beginning,“ the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”  
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland **

**  
**It was never a hard task for Shane to connect with people. People can be one of a kind, but Shane was one of many kinds. A lonely existence perhaps, that could be not so lonely when finding someone he shared many things in common.**  
**

There was no way to avoid it. Jamin felt it in the air. He began to lose him piece by piece, just slipping through his fingers. After All Stars 3 a switch was turned on. Drag Race always changes everything once you get there, if you get the chance to come back it’s a damn revolution.

Shane was the one to confess.

He got emotionally involved with Trixie. And after the filming it happened. That one night they had a gig together he wasn’t able to control himself anymore. Not because he didn't love Jamin anymore, but because suddenly Trixie filled a space he didn't know he still had. He cried and asked Jamin to forgive him, begged on his knees, that it was just a fling but it was just too much.

He had not only cheated on him, but cheated with Trixie. Fucking Trixie Mattel, the constant ghost of his life.

Jamin cut him loose.

The day of his fortieth birthday he got a card from Shane. He read it and rip it. The facade behind Acid Betty was that Jamin had the sweetest fairy tales illusions. That when he would turn 40 he would have someone to share his life with because he really believed that was possible, but instead of that he had meaningless sex with someone that wasn’t Shane for the first time. He was completely hammered, covered in sweat in the small bathroom stall, the dim light, or was it just dark in his head? The much younger man was eager to please him, had bleached blond hair, and was grinding harder on him, the birthday hat both were wearing on the floor. He was hard and what’s his name was determined to make him come his sorrows away. But there was a wave inside of him, that kept coming back and getting bigger. He still loved that mothefucker so much.

The worst thing about their break-up it wasn’t because Jamin didn’t love him anymore. It wasn’t because there was no desire. The ultimate betrayal was the lack of sighs of the upcoming disaster.

He impatiently grabbed the younger men by the ass pushing him against the wall trying to break the ocean...

_A blink of an eye and it was Christmas._

The colorful lights in New York reached a new dimension. Christmas in New York has always been the most magical experience. Time heals everything is not true. At least not in such simple terms. Times heals without you being aware of it. One day the pain paralyses and breaks you into thousand pieces, and the other day the pieces crawl back together. The other day you’re whole again, all stitched and glued. Just like that. As if hell didn't break loose. As if you weren't torn apart seconds of years ago.

Thorgy and Trixie were in a mini Christmas tour together. Jamin had no idea if they were in a relationship, and he honestly didn’t care. He was involved with new projects and planning of moving out of New York. That city was stained. Brooklyn was a cursed territory.

But ghost of past Christmas was there.

He was having a drink in the bar with some friends and on the TV hanging on next to the drink shelves they were showing many RuGirls presentations. When he raised his head to see who was going to be the next, the duo of musicians were there.

Trixie was sitting on a stool with her guitar, a colorful flowered dressed with long sleeves and white boots and Thorgy was sitting next to her following the song with the violin. She was wearing a red sequin dress with a big bow she wore last Christmas tour, but with a beautiful styled blond wig.

Jamin suddenly couldn’t hear the noises around him, as if there was only the TV in front of him. Trixie was singing looking at Thorgy and the audience and had a sweet smile. The same sweet smile Jamin saw countless times at home. When Shane was his home.

He kept looking at Thorgy’s expressions, and the image was getting closer and closer, and he could see a sort of sadness in his eyes and the picture was zooming more and more until, there was only his eyes, all grained like they were trapped in a 60’s tv show...

*

Jamin woke up with a big gasp as the air filled his lungs again.

He was laying on his couch, his glasses all crooked on his face. There were drawings all over the coffee table with sparkling stones all over it . A bunny ears head piece was half beaded on the corner of the table.

He checked the time in his cellphone, almost 2 AM. Shane was out for Alotta’s auction and he said he was staying in but Jamin had a bad taste on his mouth. His stomach was aching and when he checked himself in the mirror he was pale as a ghost and his skin positively zombie-ish.

The urge to vomit was building up and before he realized that he was feeling sick too fast he ran to his bathroom toilet and threw up all the pizza and wine he had earlier for dinner . He hugged the toilet for awful two minutes after three big sprays of vomit making he feel like Linda Blair.

He leaned on the wall sitting on the cold tile, his head spinning fast. When he closed his eyes Thorgy was fucking Trixie in a bedroom that looked like the cabin from _Evil Dead_ and then he opened them fast, panting. What the fuck was in that pizza? He didn’t even drink the whole bottle of wine.

He dragged his body to the living room again collapsing on the couch. He was feeling cold and didn’t want to get up again to grab some water. He accepted his destiny of dying in that couch when he heard the door opening and Shane coming in, his leather bag full and a tray with cupcakes on his hands.

“Girl, the auction today was so much fun! Alotta asked why didn’t you come and called you Gollum. You need indeed to get out more…”

Jamin has been in a very creative state lately, and since he was the one making everything and their travelling schedule was busy, Thorgy in gigs, and Acid in the _Werq The World_ tour, he gladly welcome isolation in his studio when he was at home.

Shane was putting everything on the kitchen table and not noticing that Jamin didn’t even move from the couch. He kept babbling about the people he saw there and how some of them were treating him differently because of AS3 when he joined Jamin in the living room.

He had the tray of cupcakes on his hands and he was wearing Jamin’s [new Mickey Mouse hoodie](https://66.media.tumblr.com/cfb7513a40086bae96639a7dcf375321/tumblr_oygqqthWOz1qbq7w9o2_1280.jpg). Also he didn’t remove all the traces of makeup because he still was wearing a bit of eyeliner and his lips were still red as if someone just kissed him.

“What’s wrong?” Shane noticed putting the tray on the coffee table and sitting in front of him on his knees and pressing his palm on Jamin’s forehead. He removed his glasses to take a better look at him and he looked zoned out.

“I felt sick…threw up everything…maybe there was something on the pizza I don’t know” he replied slowy as Shane caressed his face. He was still feeling cold with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Poor baby” Shane pouted rubbing his forearms to make him feel warmer. Jamin reacted weirdly about Shane touching him. The fresh nightmare still resonating in his memory.

Jamin also noticed that Shane was wearing his black beaded pants. “Are these my hoodie and pants?”he pointed out poking Shane's shoulder.

“Yeah!” Shane replied excited closing the zipper and showing the Mickey print. “I dressed up as you since you’re not going out anymore. Happy Halloweeeeeen!” he giggled opening his arms in a big ta-da and then kissed the tip of Jamin’s nose. “Your friends miss you” he confessed stroking his chest in circles. “And I miss you”

When Shane leaned to kiss him it was too overwhelming. Jamin leaned his head to the side and winced pushing Shane away.

“Vomit breath” he justified. Shane’s smile faded awkwardly.

“I was just giving you a peck, relax” Shane got up a bit irritated with his rejection.

Jamin closed his eyes in regret. He had no idea why he was treating Shane like garbage lately, and maybe the dream was his own unsolved issue with Trixie and the fact that he was feeling jealous of Thorgy’s connection with her. Trixie was the constant mistake he had to deal with. Their relationship was friendly, but he would always be the bitch that came for the most beloved doll of the fandom.

And he was afraid again she was going to stain the thing he loved the most.

It all made sense now. Even though he was still feeling sick. He observed Shane checking his phone standing up and he gathered forces to sit up too. He saved him cupcakes and looked adorable with Jamin’s baggy pants and hoodie.

“Thorg, sorry, It’s just the sickness speaking… I feel my insides twisting”

Shane left the room and came back with water and some pills. He sat on the coffee table in front of him and Jamin laid again on the couch. Shane wasn’t as cheerful anymore but seemed to be okay.

“Just drink lots of water and take these pills. Not now though” he warned and stopped Jamin from taking the pills. “You have an empty stomach. Just drink water and rest. Don’t even think about eating the cupcakes”

Shane continued checking his phone and took off the hoodie and undressed of Jamin’s pants. Jamin observed him folding them nicely and when turned to leave Jamin felt an urge to stop him and grabbed his leg, sitting down to face him, even if it made him more drowsy. Shane looked confused.

"What is it?" he asked a litte impatient.

Jamin took a deep breath and winced in embarassement “I had a nightmare”

Shane's expression softened a little, showing that he was at least curious. He sat on the coffee table and Jamin still had his hand on his thigh, the thumb caressing his naked knee. They were inches in front of each other. Jamin smoothed his hair trying to find the words and look less nauseated, but Shane didn’t say anything as if he just wanted Jamin to answer why he was acting so weird the past weeks once and for all.

“You cheated on me. With Trixie.”

When Shane heard the name Trixie he immediately chuckled in disbelief.

“And we broke up, and I had moved moved on. And you two were touring together and happy as two clown musicians. And I had sex with other men….”

Shane folded his arms on his chest and shifted position with the confession. Jamin took a deep breath and tried to focus again, even though his stomach was swirling again.

“And it was…not good. Because even in dreams I seem to only love you. I guess I’ve been acting weird because I feel like after AS3 everything is going to change. Again. Drag Race brought us together and I think it’s going to tear us apart this time. And you’re friends with Trixie. And I thought I got over the whole situation with her, but you mentioning her and being with her in gigs….fucked me up. It’s stupid, and doesn’t make sense, and I should know better. But I’m a tired ass jewish man that is turning forty and still lost as fuck”

He shrugged hoping for the best. Shane seemed to be still processing everything and he almost said something and then stopped again confused.

“I- I- I don’t even know what to say. I guess, sorry that I didn’t realize how my connection would Trixie would bother you? I never thought you would care because I’m the sensitive one here, helloooo? he giggled trying to light up the situation. "But after all of this, I guess I’m the asshole…”

“No, no, no” Jamin pleaded caressing both of his knees and cupping Shane’s hands. “This is stupid. I’m acting like a prick lately, it’s what I do, I tend to isolate myself when I don’t know how to deal with something”

“Jamin, my connection with Trixie is just as a sister. We sure have many things in common, but we want completely different things and living completely different moments”

“I know, I know, you don’t have to justify anything. This dream, even though it was horrible, made me sorta snap out of it”

“I thought you were just like, over me. Like what the fuck did I do proposing to this bitch? Am I really going to marry Thorgy thor?”

Jamin rolled his eyes and kissed him pulling his head with both hands but Shane kept still. He kissed him slowly, his fingers caressing his earlobes.

“You do taste like vomit” Shane replied laughing when Jamin trailed down to his jawline and he stopped and pulled back.

“Well, I warned you”

They realized the TV was on the whole time and both looked at the screen, and _Plan 9 From Outer Space_ was on.

“I had a dream about you last week too. I don’t remember much but I was a teenager in my dream, and I was playing in the school band. And you were the new music teacher. And you played the keyboard, and had lots of tattoos and I had a huge crush on you…and my dad, he read my diary and found out that I was writing all these dirty stories about you, and he was threatening me to kick me out of school…

“Oh my god, that is….detailed?” he replied surprised and laughing leaning on the couch. Shane peaked on the TV again “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I don’t know, you know I’m crazy, I always have stupid dreams” he shrugged.

“You must have been cute as hell as a teenager” Jamin smiled thinking about it and opened his arms inviting Shane to cuddle in. He laid by side placing his head on his chest and they both kept glancing on the TV.

“If you think greasy hair and really bad acne is cute. Also my brows were out of control. And I used to listen to symphonic heavy metal every day. Dream dad would be very mad to see me right now. He was right to take me out of that school”

Jamin hugged him tighter and kissed the top of his head.

“And you know what’s weird? I do play the keyboard”

Shane shifted and got out of the embrace looking at him with opened mouth surprised.

“I’m the tall dark stranger your parents warned you about” Jamin replied biting his lower lip and raising his brows.

Shane scoffed looking at his sick face with dark circles under his big blue eyes.

“A bit paler than in my dreams I must say”

They kept in silence. Jamin was feeling much better with Shane’s warmth next to him and the slumber was taking over again, they were both almost falling asleep as Bela Lugosi’s monsters talked on the screen.

*

Jamin spent the whole afternoon in his studio making the new makeup video for Halloween. It was great testing new materials and trying new editing programs. He was very happy with the result checking the camera pictures, still covered in pearls and face with still some traces of makeup, until he realized what time it was.

He was late as Alice’s bunny. His flight was in three hours and he had almost nothing packed. He heard a knock on the door and it was Shane.

“What are you doing here? Isn’t the Roast in like an hour?” he asked before saying hi. He was still startled about being late. Shane was struck with the vision of Jamin shirtless covered with pearl necklaces and wearing those baggy pants he had that traced his crotch and ass in a marvelous way.

“What is happening here?” he was opening a mischievous smile, looking around the studio. “I came to pick up the things Alotta had saved for Halloween, remember? Hey, I wanna see the pictures!”

Jamin rolled eyes and picked the camera showing him and Shane started to scroll and zoom them.

“This is incredible, it’s my instant fave right now” he was amazed with what he was seeing. Jamin finally could take a look at the man in front of him. Shane was wearing a fun yellow t-shirt on, printed with all women characters from Kill Bill, social black slacks that fitted perfectly and black Toms. Hair all up and neat and wearing his favorite perfume. Jamin checked the watch again. Damn. Alice’s bunny yelling _“I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!”_

“What?” Shane asked clueless about his boyfriend hungry eyes.

“You look really good, I mean, these pants. They actually fit you” he voiced checking him out like he was a delicious dessert.

“I had these forever. I used to play with them in gigs, they are nice, right?” he twirled still not getting what Jamin really wanted.

So he made it clear.

Jamin hovered over Shane kissing him urgently and he almost dropped the camera when he answered his embrace.

“Are you sure you want to do this, I-I don’t think we have ti-time…I’m gonna be….” Jamin grinded harder pushing him against the wall making him almost bump his head on the top shelves with miniture toys. “Oh shit!”

Shane tried to put some sense into his head but there was something else on it. Jamin’s erection was poking between Shane’s legs and Jamin was trying to remove the necklaces but Shane stopped him.

“Keep them on” he pleaded panting and Jamin held his hand and they went to the couch trying to not step on the mess that was on the floor. Jamin sat and Shane was in front of him and he pulled him by the waist kissing and nibbling on the flight of his pants, while his hands grabbed Shane’s ass, making him moan and giggle at the same time.

“Take them off I’m still going out tonight and these are black….” he asked gathering all the coordination he had taking off the yellow t-shirt and Jamin unfastened his belt quickly, pushing down his pants so he could get out of them and the shoes. Jamin took the opportunity to get out his pants too and he was stroking his cock looking at Shane undressing, and one shoe got stuck in the pants and he jumped three times to get rid of them making Jamin laugh, sorta breaking the mood.

“You looking at me, jerking off with pearls and smudged makeup on….” Shane said as he approached Jamin’s lap, straddling him slowly, his cock sliding between his butt cheeks. “It’s such a _Velvet Goldmine_ fantasy”

Shane started to rock slowly, cupping Jamin’s face with both hands as he rubbed Shane’s back, his thumbs ran up his spine, fingers fanned out over muscles that tensed and released under pressure. Shane’s cock was hard and slick, rubbing against the pubic hair of Jamin’s tummy as the kiss was deepening. With the friction of Shane’s body rocking against Jamin’s, his little hairs of the chest kept getting stuck in Jamin’s pearls.

“Ouch” he complained after another pull, stopping kissing and looked down his chest that was all red. Jamin winced. The skin was quite irritated.

“I can take them out”

“No” Shane demanded pulling him with a fistfull of pearls and Jamin started licking Shane’s chest, nibbing on his nippples and pulling him closer making him moan louder in approval. As Jamin was working on his nipples and caresisng his ribs, Shane was undoing his hairdo letting some part of the dreads lose and Jamin licked the area next to his armpit making him laugh and getting even more turned on.

Shane then held one of Jamin’s hands and licked his fingers, letting a lot of saliva run down on them. Jamin’s hands were still a little bit dirty with makeup.

“Sorry” he said giggling noticing Shane’s face with the taste of his fingers. But they were slick enough so he could warm him up a bit. “I have lube in the bedroom”

“I’m not going anywhere” Shane lifted a bit and that was the sign and led Jamin's hand to under his cock. So Jamin inserted two fingers inside him slowly, getting in and out as Shane pushed him harder against the couch’s cushion and making Jamin grunt louder.

His hips were finding a perfect ride rhythm as Jamin kept pushing two fingers, feeling him tensing up around them, his cock covered with pre-cum rubbing under Shane’s balls.

“Fu…you need to slow down a bit…” Jamin begged holding down Shane's hips with one hand as Shane was riding the figers of the other. Shane then stopped completely breathless.

“We’re late, bunny…” Shane bluntly said out of breath and raised his brows, guiding Jamin’s hand to reach for his cock, teasing his entrance.

He started penetrating him very slowly, watching Shane enjoy every inch of it arching his back. They haven’t had sex in more than three weeks so he needed to be gentle even though he wanted to fuck the shit out of him right now. He was tight and so very, very hot. He thrusted hard into him once and Shane threw his head back, losing his breath like Jamin pushed it out of his lungs. "You want a little more?”

“I want a lot more” Shane didn’t hesitate through gritted teeth, riding him harder. It was his turn to lose his breath for a split second, then Jamin thrusted back into him , shoving it and raising his hips, the hands pinning Shane’s hips. His delicious panting as the muscles squeezed around Jamin’s cock.

Shane pulled the pearl necklaces making Jamin lean forward to kiss him and embrace him by the waist and Shane kept riding him non stop…their bodies locked, Jamin feeling the old couch making crumbling noises.

“We’re going to ruin this couch again” Jamin said laughing and panting reaching for Shane’s cock to stroke it as his other arm kept him stabilized in an embrace but Shane seemed to be completely dazed, eyes closed and moaning like crazy.

He grabbed Jamin’s chin and looked him in the eye, “Fuck me harder and I’ll pay you a new one”

Jamin flipped him making him lay on his back on the couch and now he was on top, with Shane’s legs over his shoulders as he pounded him harder answering his challenge. Shane pulled him by the necklaces again and one of them broke splitting pearls all over him, but Jamin kept going and Shane was working on his cock when Jamin laid over him reaching for his neck. He was feeling Shane tighten around him , hearing his cry out softly with every one of his thrusts. He was buried deep, hitting his prostate, biting into his neck again, his face brushing on his dreads spread on the cushion. He’ll leave a mark. They’ll deal with it later.

“I’m so close, just like that, just like…._oh…fuck_…!” Shane whispered with eyes wide shut.

And then he felt Shane tightened around him like a vise, an electric shock, a whirl of pleasure hitting him deep in his stomach making Jamin following him seconds later. His entire body stiffened growling in pleasure, and he wondered if the sparks flying off their bodies were going to catch something on fire and how that couch didn’t break.

He collapsed on Shane’s body. The pearls all over the floor, and his long, perfect hairy legs wrapped around him, as he was listening his heart beating like a heavy metal drum slowly finding the classical sonata pace again. 

“I was…” Shane still breathless, and Jamin’s weight on him was not helping. “Kinda triggered when those pearls broke, having a flashbacks with my lipsync with Chi Chi…”

They both laughed and Jamin got up all sweaty and removing what was left of the necklaces. He grabbed some tissues on the table and started cleaning the hot white liquid on his stomach. Shane was still laying down breathless but Jamin's cock was still covered and glistening so he sat again hungry to clean that mess. Jamin laughed and stood in front of him as he took his cock in his mouth slowly, his shaft was highly sensitive as Shane was licking and kissing it. 

He was looking down and at him licking his stomach and remembered that time was still running out “I still need to pack. You want shower again, right?”

Shane just nodded with his cock in his mouth letting it go with a pop sound, a satisfied smile, and then Jamin approached and leaned planting kissed him. Shane collapsed naked on the couch rubbing his belly lazily. 

“I feel like I can’t walk yet”

“Hey, you asked for it. Let me get you a towel”

“I’m not complaining”

Then Jamin walked out the room trying to not step on the many pearls on the floor making Shane laugh with the vision. 

*

Half an hour later [Shane was in the car with Ruby Roo](https://www.instagram.com/p/BanZTXNFwSj/) and Kirk going to the roast of Sherry Vine, fixing her hair. Kirk noticed the red marks on Shane’s neck.

“You might wanna cover these…allergies” the redhead implied handing him Ruby’s foundation powder.

Ruby looked back a little suspicious.

“I swear my skin is falling apart. Drag will be the end of me” he justified and kept teasing his friend hair and finished with a bit of spray.


End file.
